


this godforsaken mess that you made me

by parklegacies



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, but with a lot happening in between, does not follow the canon storylines !!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25744018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parklegacies/pseuds/parklegacies
Summary: brittana inspired by folklore
Relationships: Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!   
> Basically I'm just obsessed with folklore and I can't listen to it and not think about Brittana, so I decided to write a fic (inspired by the entire album). I hope y'all enjoy it :)

Apparently the first time Santana met Brittany was at a neighborhood block party when they were three. That's what their parents always told them, but Santana doesn't remember that. The first time she remembers meeting Brittany she was four years old. It was the first day of kindergarten and everyone else was already five. Santana's mom had had to petition the school board to enroll Santana a year early because she missed the cut-off by 2 months. She hadn't said so, but Santana had been nervous about being the youngest in her grade. She was on the small side, and she wasn't exactly outgoing. She had a sharp wit, and an even sharper scowl, and the kids in her neighborhood told her she was too small and too mean to play with them. So when she walked in on the first day with her mom, she wanted to be back at home. Still, she plastered on the scowl that at four years old she'd already mastered and let go of her mom's hand and walked into the classroom with her head held high. She hung up her backpack in her cubby and went to go sit at her desk. Around the classroom, she saw some of the boys pretending to wrestle and rolled her eyes at them. Some of the girls had started coloring at another group of desks. On the carpet, she saw a group playing Jenga, and when she looked over she saw a blonde girl try to take out one of the pieces, only to knock over the whole tower. 

Whatever reaction she had been expecting from the girl, she wasn't prepared for her to burst into a face-splitting grin and then buckle over on the carpet laughing. Something about the girl got to her, and without noticing, she found a small smile replacing the smirk that had been playing at her lips. When the girl abruptly looked up and made eye contact with her, Santana quickly looked away, and hoped she wouldn't get caught for staring. Instead, the girl got up from her place on the carpet and walked over to where she was sitting at her desk.

"Hi, I'm Brittany! Do you wanna come play Jenga?" Santana was opening her mouth to say no when the girl--Brittany--grinned at her again. Santana saw she was missing her two front teeth, and she had the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Instead, she heard herself saying, "okay" and getting up to follow Brittany back over to the carpet. Brittany skipped ahead of her, and as Santana approached, she patted the spot next to her for Santana to sit. Santana went over to sit next to her, and gave Brittany her best smile.

Brittany leaned over to her and whispered, "You never told me your name." Santana wasn't sure why they were whispering, but she decided she liked that the conversation was just between the two of them, because Brittany already had friends, and she was talking to Santana anyway.

"I'm Santana." Brittany smiled at her again and nodded, then leaned back over to her spot. The other kids had been setting up a new game of Jenga while she'd been talking to Brittany, and they were all about to start when Brittany announced, "Santana is on my team this round!" When Rachel Berry tried to argue that Jenga didn't have teams, Santana shot her the scowl she'd perfected and said, "They do now." She knew she'd made the right decision when Brittany gave her a secret thumbs-up.

When the teacher called for everyone to go to their desks, Santana found out that Brittany was sitting right next to her, and she was glad she had a friend. Brittany was friends with everyone in kindergarten, even the boys who were mean to her, and Santana was friends with Brittany. Brittany was loud where Santana was quiet, and she smiled when Santana scowled, and tickled her until she smiled again. Santana decided she didn't need other friends when she had Brittany, because Brittany was her favorite, and she thought she was Brittany's favorite too. If anyone ever tried to make fun of Brittany, Santana would scowl at them until they were too scared to say anything else, or she would say something even meaner back to them. When Finn Hudson called Brittany stupid and made her cry during recess, Santana punched him in the face and told Brittany she was a genius (which was true, Santana thought Brittany was the smartest person she'd ever met). Even though she had to go to the principal's office and she got grounded for a month, it was worth it because Brittany smiled again and then gave Santana a hug and called her brave, and no one insulted Brittany for the rest of the year.

Santana loved having Brittany as her best friend. She loved the days when her parents would have to work late and Brittany's mom would pick both of them up from school and they would go back to Brittany's house and play pirates and hide and seek, even when their games got so short because they always knew where the other was hiding. When they got older, Brittany would hide, and when Santana found her she would sit in the hiding spot with her until Whitney came and called them for dinner. 

During the summer when Santana was ten and Brittany was eleven, they found out that their school was joining with one of the other schools in Lima, and in sixth grade they would have almost double the people they did before, Santana found Brittany hiding in her favorite tree (it only took her two minutes to find her, and that was because Whitney stopped her in the kitchen to ask if she was staying for dinner, because otherwise it would have been so much quicker). Santana climbed up and sat down next to Brittany on the platform her dad had built. He'd meant for it to be a tree house, but he'd only been able to build the platform before Whitney had convinced him he had no idea what he was doing. Santana knocked her knee against Brittany when she didn't look up when Santana sat next to her. Slowly, her eyes met Santana's, and she looked scared, with tears threatening to spill out of her eyes.

"San, are you still gonna be my best friend next year when there's all those new kids?" Santana softened in the way she only ever did for Brittany, and her voice was gentle and honest when she replied.

"Of course I am, Britt Britt. You're my most favorite, and we're gonna be best friends forever." Brittany smiled a little, and looked up to meet Santana's eyes again. Her face got serious when she held up her pinky in front of Santana.

"Cross your heart?" Santana put up her pinky and took Brittany's, smiling wide at her. "Cross my heart." They sat there with linked pinkies, their knees knocking against each other on the platform until Whitney called them inside for dinner. When they walked inside, it was with their pinkies linked.

When they went back to school, Quinn Fabray decided they were going to be her best friends. Quinn was popular, which meant that Brittany and Santana became popular too. Brittany had always been popular, and Santana had been popular by association, but when Quinn became their friend, they became the most popular trio in school. Quinn was the leader, and Santana loved her because she was mean too, and she was never afraid to cut back at someone who'd said something to any one of them, or towards anyone else who she thought deserved it. She scowled almost as well as Santana, and between the two of them, the hallways parted like the Red Sea when they walked through it. When Brittany said just that, they'd jokingly come up with the name 'Unholy Trinity' and it had stuck. They'd walked down the hallways, Quinn first, and Brittany and Santana following behind her with linked pinkies, watching students part around them.

Santana liked being popular, because then no one was focusing on the fact that she was younger than they were, and no one was saying anything mean to Brittany that might make her cry. Santana loved being popular. And then, in eighth grade, Noah Puckerman asked Santana to go on a date with him, and Santana missed the time when it was just her and Brittany.

She didn't tell Quinn and Brittany when it happened. It was on Friday, and they went to the creek after school together. Quinn was already in the water when Santana swung out, but she didn't jump in. Brittany caught the swing when it came back, because she could tell. When it was Santana, Brittany could always tell. She dragged Santana behind the tree.

"Why didn't you jump?" Brittany frowned at her, and her eyes were curious.

"Noah asked me on a date next Friday." Santana said it quietly, and she was looking at her hands playing with her fingers when she replied. She heard Brittany squeal before she looked up.

"San! That's awesome! What did you say? You said yes, right?" Brittany was practically buzzing.

"I told him I would tell him on Monday." She scowled at how excited Brittany was about this. She didn't want to go out with Noah, that would change everything. 

"How come San?"

"What if it changes everything, Britt Britt? We've never had a date before, what if it's bad? What if he tries to kiss me? What if he wants us to spend time together all the time and then we can't hang out?" Santana was practically hyperventilating when Brittany grabbed her hand. Her eyes were bright, and Santana could tell she'd had an idea.

"San, it's perfect! It'll be okay, we can practice and kiss each other first, that way you've already done it before your date with Noah!" Brittany dropped her voice lower to a whisper, "Besides, I've never kissed anyone before either, and I wanna do it too." Santana could feel her heart beating out of her chest, and she looked at Brittany with wide eyes.

"Are you sure, Britt?" Brittany just held up her pinky for Santana to take.

"Cross my heart, San." Brittany dropped their linked pinkies down to her side, pulling Santana a step closer to her before leaning in to kiss Santana. It was quick and innocent and Brittany tasted like the sweet tea they'd been drinking earlier and her favorite chapstick and Santana thought that if kissing was like this maybe she wouldn't mind kissing Puck on her date, because kissing Brittany was one of her favorite things they'd done, and they both pulled back with shy smiles and blushing cheeks.

Quinn called out to them from the water, and Brittany smiled at Santana before running off and jumping in. Santana stayed behind the tree a minute longer, touching her fingers to her lips and whispering to herself, "Cross my heart."

On Monday, Santana told Noah she would go on a date with him, and on Friday he kissed her at the end of their date and it wasn't anything like kissing Brittany had been and she didn't like it at all. She went home and asked her mom and dad about it. The expressions on their faces made Santana immediately regret asking, and when she heard them talking about it that night when she was supposed to be sleeping, she knew that whatever it was was something she shouldn't talk to them about again. Still, whenever Brittany came around, sometimes she couldn't help it, because she didn't know why she felt like that and her parents wouldn't answer her.

By the time high school started, Santana's dad had moved out, her mom was gone even more for work (Santana only saw her sometimes on certain weekends), she started dating Noah and nicknamed him Puck, she learned that Google could tell her all about what she was feeling--and what she was feeling was apparently gay and not something her parents agreed with--and she stopped bringing up Brittany to her mom on the rare occasion she saw her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the first chapter is a lot of backstory and set-up with a few folklore references, but we'll get into high school in the next chapter and it should all take off more from there! I hope y'all enjoy it and keep reading. I'll try to post the next chapter very soon :) Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading :)
> 
> Unholy Trinity starts high school, and the fic will go from there. I hope y'all like it!

Joining the Cheerios had been Quinn's idea. If there was one thing she knew, it was that the Cheerios would make them the top bitches at McKinley High, and they spent the whole summer before high school training for tryouts. Brittany agreed because she loved dancing more than anything (except maybe Santana) and gymnastics had been an extension of that and Cheerios felt like a natural progression. Santana agreed because she wasn't scared of heights, could flip like nobody's business, Brittany wanted to, and because she wore her popularity like a shield going into high school. Where she'd once been quiet, Santana turned cold. Her insults grew so sharp that even at the threat of saying something could send people running. Quinn and Brittany noticed, and Quinn might have been confused by the sharp turn, but she would just smile at Santana and match her whenever Santana turned words against her. Quinn never backed down, and with her to fight with, Santana was less likely to turn that attention on their other classmates. Brittany wasn't confused. She never was when it came to Santana. Santana was mean to Finn Hudson because, even though he hadn't said it to her face since kindergarten, he thought Brittany was stupid and he wasn't afraid to say it (as long as it wasn't to Santana). Brittany also knew that Santana's parents had split (though Santana wouldn't say why) and that her mom was gone more (Santana always shrugged it off as work, and said she liked having the house to herself, but Brittany could see that was a lie in the way her eyes grew sharp in that way they always did when she was being defensive).

By the time they started high school, Santana was dating Puck, the word lesbian had crossed her mind but never her lips, and the Unholy Trinity were the only three freshmen who made the Cheerios.

When Quinn started dating Finn, it wasn't because she liked him. She told Santana as much when he asked her out for the first time, but she still said yes because he was the quarterback of the football team. Santana rolled her eyes, but Quinn knew she understood. Brittany wasn't sure, but when the three of them got invited to an upperclassmen party, she knew as well as Santana and Quinn did that popularity had its perks, so she told Quinn she was happy for her and asked Santana if she could borrow a top for the party.

Quinn and Brittany both told their parents they were spending the night at Santana's the Friday of the party. Brittany showed up wearing her Levi shorts and her favorite cardigan. She grinned at Santana before disappearing into her closet, emerging not even five minutes later wearing a sheer black crop top. Santana was wearing tight leather shorts with a tight red top. She smirked at their reflections in the mirror.

"We look hot Britt Britt." Brittany's face broke into a wide smile, and she nodded her agreement. "Oh, wait, Britt I have something that will be absolutely perfect for you." Santana turned away from Brittany, rummaging through her jewelry box until she emerged with a beaded orange necklace. She turned towards Brittany, who smiled and moved her hair out of the way, silently asking Santana to put it on her. She moved behind Brittany and undid the clasp, gently fastening it around her neck. "It's Amber. My abuela gave it to me a couple years ago and said it represents sunlight, which I think is perfect for you." She finished and took a step back from Brittany. "It really makes your eyes pop too." Santana hadn't meant to say that part out loud, but she couldn't help but stare at Brittany's bright blue eyes as they looked first at the necklace now around her neck, then caught Santana's in the mirror.

The moment was broken at the sound of Quinn on the stairs, yelling at Santana to "start locking your door! I could be a serial killer San!" Brittany practically snorted, and Santana managed to roll her eyes and take a step back from Brittany before Quinn came in the room. Quinn greeted Santana with a hug neither would admit they both loved before turning to wrap Brittany in a tight hug too. She dropped her stuff in the corner before turning to both of them with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Who's ready to get this party started?" All three of them laughed, pretending they weren't nervous for their first high school party, and turned to walk out the door, Quinn first and Santana and Brittany behind her, pinkies linked.

The party was at an upperclassmen's house who Santana had never heard of, but it turned out he only lived a few blocks away from her, so it was a short walk from her house. By the time they got there, the party was already in full swing. The three girls shared a look with each other before pushing back their shoulders and walking into the house. Puck saw them first, and greeted Quinn and Britt with quick hugs before dropping his arm over Santana's shoulder and giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey babe." He smirked at her, and Santana broke her scowl to give him a genuine smile and hit him in the side. He pretended like it hurt, but he didn't drop his arm, and Santana leaned into his side, her pinky still linked with Brittany. "Come on, let's get you fine ladies some drinks!" Puck led them into the kitchen and mixed out a vodka cranberry for Santana while Santana mixed Brittany a drink with a lot of lemonade and a gentler pour of vodka than she would've given herself, sliding it across the counter before taking a long sip of the drink Puck had made her. Brittany smiled gratefully at her. Quinn was able to convince Puck to make her a vodka cranberry too, and the three girls toasted each other before sipping their drinks. The four of them went out to where everyone was dancing, and Quinn started dancing with Finn while Puck pulled Santana in to dance. She glanced back at Brittany, and saw she was smiling, so she wrapped her arms around Puck's neck and started dancing with him. They were all dancing together when the song changed, and when they heard the first notes, they all immediately flashed each other grins before clearing Puck and Finn out of the way. With a few well-placed glares by Quinn and Santana, they'd cleared space in seconds, and fell into formation as 'Toxic' became recognizable over the speakers. The girls broke into a well-rehearsed routine that they'd made up over the summer to prepare for Cheerios, and finished the song leaning all over each other and laughing while the crowd around them whooped and clapped and they took playful bows. 

Quinn pulled both of them off the dance floor to get more drinks, still laughing along the way. Santana was the only one who knew how to mix a drink, because she was dating Noah Puckerman after all, and mixed up two cranberry vodkas for herself and Quinn. She took a sip before pulling out the lemonade to make a drink for Brittany. Brittany was already tipsy, and she reached out and took Santana's drink from her hand, taking a sip before almost spitting it back into the cup as her nose wrinkled in disgust. Santana looked at her and laughed when Brittany smacked at her arm.

"San, that's disgusting." Santana just laughed and Brittany's face turned to a pout.

"Britt, that's why I'm making yours with lemonade, you hate cranberry juice." With that Brittany smiled and held out her hands for her new drink, taking a long drink when Santana handed it to her and making an approving noise mid-sip. From the other room, the girls could hear people starting to get together to play a game, and Puck peeked into the kitchen with a devilish look on his face, calling Santana to come play spin the bottle with them, Quinn and Brittany close at her heels. Finn wasn't playing, so Quinn sat down on his lap and ushered Santana and Brittany on, Santana sitting down next to Puck while Brittany ended up across the circle from her. Santana was well on her way to being drunk, and she told herself that's why cheered when her boyfriend stuck his tongue down the throat of the Cheerios captain before he pulled back with a proud smile and dropped his arm around her shoulder. Santana was having a lot of fun, and she didn't hesitate to practically slide into Puck's lap when he spun the bottle to her, slipping her tongue in his mouth to the whoops of the football team around them. Ultimately it was Quinn leaning over to smack her in the shoulder that got them apart and kept the game moving, and she threw a smirk over her shoulder at the girl before reaching forward to spin the bottle, only for it to land on... Brittany.

The crowd cheering snapped Santana out of her daze (Although Quinn's foot gently but sharply connecting with her back was probably also a factor. Santana looked up to see Brittany already crawling across the circle towards her before dumping herself in Santana's lap--and wow those drinks had hit Brittany hard, though Santana was hardly one to talk right now--and Brittany was bringing her hand up to Santana's jaw before pulling her into a kiss that completely threw Santana off guard despite knowing it was coming. She put her hands on Brittany's hips to keep the girl from falling over, moving her lips back against Brittany's when the girl bit down on her lower lip. Santana gasped into her, and her mouth opened enough for Brittany to gently dip her tongue into Santana's mouth. Then, just as quickly as it had started, Brittany was already back across on her side of the circle, spinning the bottle and landing on Dave Karofsky. Santana hoped the way her cheeks were flushed and her pupils blown could be attributed to all the alcohol she'd been drinking, but she knew her ragged breathing was noticed by Quinn when she felt the pressure of her foot again on her back, and she leaned into it gratefully before snapping back into the game they were playing. 

She tuned in just in time to hear Karofsky whining about how he wasn't gonna kiss another dude because he wasn't a queer. Santana practically winced at his words, but had spent enough time hiding her emotions not to show it. Nobody wanted to continue after Karofsky killed the mood, so they all got up and slowly headed to the kitchen to get more drinks or back to the other room to dance. Santana looked up to see Brittany standing in front of her, reaching down a hand for her and pulling her to her feet.

"Come to the bathroom with me?" Santana would've rolled her eyes if anyone other than Brittany had asked, but she let a gentle smile play at her lips and let herself be pulled upstairs to the bathroom. She was still in her own world, and she only registered that they'd made it to the bathroom when she felt herself pressed against the door which Brittany quickly locked before pressing her lips to Santana's in a searing kiss. Santana immediately responded before she was even aware what was happening. She pulled Brittany closer by her hips, running one hand up to tangle in the girl's hair, pulling gently. When Brittany moaned into her mouth, Santana realized what they were doing and pulled back with a dazed look on her face. Brittany's pupils were blown and she was out of breath, her lips slightly swollen from kissing Santana.

"Britt, wait, what are you doing?" Santana tried to pull away, but her hands were gripping Brittany's hips, and she knew she was in a similar state to the other girl. Instead of replying, Brittany leaned in and kissed Santans' neck instead, elicting a sharp gasp from the other girl, holding her breath until Brittany wove a hand into her hair and pulled her head back, biting as her neck before running her tongue over the area and sliding her thigh between Santana's legs, pressing hard. Santana dropped her head against the door and tried to stifle her moan before she moved one of her hands to pull Brittany back into a deep kissing, running her tongue along the girl's lip and slipping her tongue into her mouth when Brittany moaned. Santana grinded her hips down into Brittany's thigh, causing the girl to bite down hard on her lip. Santana hissed but pulled Brittany in impossibly closer. Brittany slipped one of her hands under Santana's shirt, her fingers burning Santana's skin and causing her muscles to tense. Her hand was climbing higher and Santana inhaled sharply when Brittany's thumb brushed against the bottom of her bra--

A sharp knock at the door followed by Quinn's "I know you losers are in there, open up!" Brittany quickly pulled her hand out of Santana's shirt and jumped back as if burned before quickly unlocking the door and pulling Quinn inside.

"God, Q, I was peeing, what is it?" Quinn looked at Santana, eyes wide and cheeks flushed, quiet and still leaning against the door before slowly turning back to Brittany, whose lips were a little swollen but looked otherwise just like Brittany always looked. Quinn shook her head before responding.

"The party's starting to die down and we do not wanna be the last ones here, so let's bail. San, can we still stay at your place?" Santana nodded, still not trusting herself to talk, and she let herself be pulled out of the bathroom by Quinn, Brittany bouncing ahead of them while Quinn gave Santana's hand a squeeze and linked their elbows as they walked downstairs. Quinn had already said bye to Finn, and Santana said she would see Puck tomorrow, so the girls left the house to make the walk back to Santana's place, Santana's elbow still firmly locked in Quinn's as the girl half pulled her back to the house while Brittany ran head. Santana looked at her ahead of them and smiled at Brittany dancing in her Levi's, drunk under the streetlights in Lima, and thought she'd never looked as beautiful as she did then. 

The walk back was mostly quiet except for Brittany's occasional yelling ahead of them that reminded Santana of when she would randomly yell when they were kids in the woods together and Brittany was trying to be ferocious. She smiled with adoration at her, and Quinn chose that moment to break the silence.

"S? I just want to say I love you. Always and no matter what. I know we don't say stuff like that a lot, but you're my best friend, okay?" Sometimes Quinn didn't get enough credit for how observant she was. And she was right, the two of them didn't say stuff like this to each other. That was how they were with Brittany. They said "I love you" with insults and scowls, but in that moment it was exactly what Santana needed, and she nodded and wiped away the lone tear spilling across her cheek.

"I love you too Q. Always." And it wasn't linked pinkies and cross my heart, and Santana's heart didn't flutter when Quinn was around and the bracelet around her wrist was her friendship bracelet for Brittany because they were best friends forever, and Santana had only ever had Brittany, but in that moment she thought always with Quinn and locked elbows and shared insults and scowls meaning the words they always meant but only said in the dark moments sounded a lot like best friend too, and she felt so full of love for these two girls with words like always and forever and she thought it didn't matter that she was in love with Brittany because she could live for the hope of it all, and wanting her was enough if it let her feel how she did right now. The air was lighter on the rest of the walk home, and they had just turned down Santana's block.

"Puck knows." Santana murmured. That hadn't been what she was trying to say, but she thinks Quinn knows that, because she just reaches down to squeeze her hand again. "He's known since just after our first date. I tried to talk to my parents about it, but... Well, I talked to Puck instead. Anyway, he knows. That's why we're..." She trailed off. "But it's just the two of you, Q, okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Okay, S." And it wasn't a promise, but the way she said it, Santana knew it would be. When they got back to Santana's they all changed into pajamas and fell into bed with each other, drifting quickly to sleep. Santana slept better than she had in years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, and I'll post the next chapter as soon as I finish writing it :)


End file.
